Second, being with someone a lot becomes habit. They become your habit and then what on earth are you, without them? The surprise we feel to find ourselves bereft after finishing a serious relationship should be lesser, for sure, because how else would we feel if we removed any other aspect of our life which had, until that point, been solid? Remove the television programme you’ve been watching resolutely every evening at five thirty, remove the pen from your desk, remove the friendly bottle of wine from the fridge or the reliable old black cardigan you’ve been wearing for months or years, and you will miss it. Its lack will be palpable. So when the removed thing is human, when it has likes and similarities and warm skin and kisses and comfort, even though those things come with foibles and annoyances and unwashed hair and dishes in your sink, that lack will be noticed most of all.

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