come away

Fine, I give in.

2003 - I buy and write a long message inside a “love is…” card but never give it to him. He regifts the locket he’d given to his ex, and a red card with the words “without one, there is no other”. He stays over for the first time and my parents worry.

2004 - Sweetpea sends America’s Sweetheart with a note, “if I could send you C. Love for real, I would”. Maybe a card, and maybe the little ginger cat, too. Something to eat that will never have been eaten.

[2005, 6, 7 and 8 are missing.]

2009 - I keep the post-its and break it off with Kev, thinking only of poetry.

2010 - Sick with glandular fever, I cancel the reservation at the top of the hill and make soup. We watch Imagine Me & You, My Summer of Love and Driving Lessons. She brings me a hamper. I forget what I give her. A card with a hedgehog. The lingerie I never wore (for her). Two weeks later, she leaves.

2011 - Alice sends a postcard. I think of brown eyes and listen to Richard Walters.

2012 - Passes by without comment. Pizza. Beer. An email saying I didn’t get the job.